Failure Is What I Am.

So Ive had a bad night, sad because I can't keep her happy. I always screw up somehow and I don't know how to tell her I'm sorry because just saying it doesn't do a thing.


Ive realized today that I need to hide, not from anyone but from myself. I hide behind other peoples problems and I hide behind this mask I wear.


I normally tend to help others so I feel less bad about my own problems. I don't open up to anyone but Phoenix most of the time, but I don't like telling her because I feel bad because I know she has problems and doesn't need to hear about mine plus I just want to make her happy I just want her to be pleased with me but I cant do that because I'm a screw up.. a failure.


I just want to know if she is happy with me, pleased with me, to afraid to ask because from my point of view she deserves better then me and I only cause her problems, pain and sorrow. I don't care about myself, I have one dream in life at the moment and that's to make Phoenix happy by doing anything possible, but as Ive said, I'm a failure. To afraid to ask because I don't want to be crushed yet again, Ive been hurt enough and just want to do one thing, I want to make her happy and pleased with me.


I hide behind others, I help them with their problems so I do not have to look at my own.
How about my followers? If any of you read this anymore since my one when I was a jerk and a heartless bastard.



All I want is to make her happy and prove I love her.



Once again, I wear this mask, not to be hidden from others but to hide from myself.
This mask is my friend, its always helped hide my emotions and problems.



Yours Sadly but slightly faithful,
The Mask wearer,
Xendal.