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What Is The Color Of Night?

Life is great.

So, Life is good. I'm enjoying it and everything is going well.

I decided to do something good for myself and block and delete Phoenix. Feels good man, Feels good. Now I can get on with life and not have to listen to what ever she says. She threatens to do what ever she can to break me and Amelia up. My opinion, that's kinda bitchy of her and she needs to grow up and get over it.

I'm With Amelia which is great. Shes quite the girl. And this its self, just thinking of it, brings a smile to my face. Obviously you lot know I'm dating her already but yes, saying stuff as it comes to mind.

I've made her a gift, I do ever so hope she likes it. If anyone wants pictures I will send you them tomorrow night. Actually no, you can all wait till Amelia has it herself. Maybe she will show you all if she likes it enough to show you pictures or something.

Anyhow, one more exam tomorrow and then schools over for the year. Woo!

Can't wait.
Holidays won't be that bad. They will be quite fun if stuff happens like I want.

New guitar for Christmas, Cant freakon wait! :D

My thoughts right now.

Im laying in bed thinking back to when I had Amelia over and we fell asleep together. I really wish I could cuddle up to her right now and just fall asleep with her in my arms.

She is such an amazing girl. She looked so gorgeous at prom. I had so much fun being with her all friday.

Amelia <3

Life choices? No idea.

So I'm at the end of year 11 basically.

Should I have any fucking idea what I should do with my life?

Because I don't. I can't find anything I actually want to do.
Nor be good at, Unless there is a job where I can sit around doing absolutely nothing at all, I'm good at that. It's around the only thing I am good at.

I just don't know what to do with myself...

HELL YEAH!

JUST GOT SKYRIM!


That is all.

A Martyr For My Love For You

She was sixteen
And six feet tall
In a crowd of teenagers
Coming out of the zoo.

She stumbled
Started to slip and fall
Teeter tottered on the top
Of patent leather shoes.

I happen to catch her and said
"maybe these ruby shoes are
A little cumbersome for you."

Maybe for you, now.

But not as shaky
As I must've seemed
Talking junk through her
Giggle little teenage dream.

And on the phone I could not compete
My dumb luck
Fake confidence
Was getting weak.

And for a sec
I thought I sounded sweet
But sure enough In a gruff voice I heard myself speak...

I could stay awhile
But sooner or later
I'll break your smile
And I can tell a joke
But one of these days
I'm bound to choke
And we could share a kiss
But I feel like I can't go
Through with this
And I bet we could build a home
But I know the right thing
For me to do
Is to leave you alone

I'm beginning to like you
So you probably won't get
What I'm going to do.

I'm walking away from you
It probably don't make
much sense to you.

But I'm trying to save you
From all of the things that
I'll probably say or do.

I'll probably do, now.

I could stay awhile
But sooner or later
I'll break your smile
And I can tell a joke
But one of these days
I'm bound to choke
And we could share a kiss
But I feel like I can't go
Through with this
And I bet we could build a home
But I know the right thing
For me to do
Is to leave you alone

You'll probably call me a fool
And say I'm doing exactly
What a coward would do.

And I'm beginning to like you
It's a shame
What a lame way to live
But what can i do?

Well I hope you appreciate
What I do...

I'm a martyr for my love for you.

Start posting dreams.

I'm going to try start posting my dreams from day to day.

Sometimes they are quite interesting. Others are just sad and depressing.

But alas, I shall do it.

Or try too.

Last week of school... Basically.

Why Hello there boys and girls.

Its basically my last week of school for this year, HAZZAH!

And well the only classes that are important left are math chem and drama..
So I might just not come to school the other days, that's what I am thinking anyhow.

Gotta get these words for my script stuck into my head. I want to pass this one with an A or atleast a B.

Anyhow, Just thought I would talk about my school life since I am not there.

Title

So today has been quite good and I have been quite addicted to the songs, "Death Letter" and "A Martyr For My love For You" Both are stuck in my head.

It depressed me because sometimes I feel that I should listen to the 2nd song and run away from it all so I don't do or say anything stupid to hurt you.

Though, that's selfish and cowardly to do so. When all I want is for us both to be happy.

You are an amazing girl and I do plan on sticking around if you'll let me.
That's what I decided and since then I've been quite happy.

Anyhow, I know others read my blog and I didn't mean to make that to personal or such, My dream the other night just freaked the heck out of me. All 3 of the ones I recently had. At least last night was a happy dream.

Anyhow, both great songs, listen to them songs.

While your at it, "Ball and biscuit" because its a fantastic song.

Kitchen nearly done.

Building our kitchen. Its nearly all built, once its all built we just have to tile and get an electrician in to put in our oven because we can't legally do it ourselves.

So, Maybe 2 or 3 weeks will will be done or basically done, enough to use the kitchen again I guess. Which I have missed.

Making meals on the table every dinner is kinda annoying, takes up a lot of room and limits the types of meals you can have.

Important Person

You're heavily on my mind once again.

Its different, and its nice.

I'm loving it.
:)

Phone thing...

RAGE!!!!

3rd Phone I've tried to get and they can't get it in stock for another month or two or they just can't get one at all....

It really annoyed me. I'm getting a new one tomorrow regardless of what type of phone it is. I just need a phone that works.

Um Yeah

All Day I have had people just telling me I suck at things or they just are doubting me at everything, It really annoys me. But sometimes I feel they are right and then I doubt myself and feel like shit.

Mmm.

Meaning of Life

So a good friend of mine was questioning the Meaning of Life.

What is it exactly?

For me there is no true meaning, and if there is, its insignificant with what we go though day to day.

So why exactly does there have to be a meaning to life at all?

For everything we do in life it's just pointless and we are to just to live for our own joy. Why make it a bad one? Why not just do everything possible to make you happy. In the end it won't even matter.

Why won't it matter dear Mr Xendal?

Because life is repetitive, everything we do has just been done once before.
We come from nothing, we do stuff we apparently find meaning in, we die and go back to nothing. So over all, what have you lost? Nothing.

So tell me, why bother seeking the meaning to life at all?

To me, life repeats. That's all there is to it.

Life is a time frame filled with nothing but meaningless events.

Said Something But.

I said something, I meant it and hope it, but I don't know if I should have said it.

Though I did say it so, there is no going back from it. Not that what was said was bad.

I am just hoping it does happen and that lady luck will be at my side for the journey.

My last night.

I spent my night with Miss Amelia. Was quite nice.

Her mother picked me up and was kinda weird just driving around with her and talking by ourselves. The music that was playing, every single song was music Dad listens to constantly. Then got Amelia and went to her house.

Was fun, I enjoy seeing her and being with her. It makes me happy and I smile a lot when I am with her. I was told I rarely smile by people, is that true?

Anyhow, we kinda just laid around talking, laughing, me saying stupid things and only realizing after I say it how stupid it sounded. Was fun, and then we had music on and just laid there hugging. Was nice.

At her house, I get fed :D
Yepp! There is food for me to eat, its great. I don't have to starve like I do at my house because there is no Dylan stealing everything to eat. So I ate like triple what I normally do.

Oh! And we watched this movie called Black Swan, it was kinda weird and creepy but also pretty cool. Google it or what ever because I honestly can't be bothered to explain the movie.

Over all, was a fantastic night. Left her house at 2 something. Left my phone at her house though. Which kinda is a problem because I need it, but eh I can go with out it and I am getting a new one Monday anyhow.

I wish...

I wish I could make you smile and never have you being sad or alone or such again.

I wish somehow I could make you so happy everything else in your life is no worry at all.

I shall try to do so, I just want to see you smile.

I wish I had some power to just grant happiness, that would be amazing. I don't like knowing there is something wrong. Though this I can't actually do much about, but if it was possible I would. Though I can be there for you, when times get worse.

I just wish I could make you smile, make you forget everything and just relax.

I'll try my hardest.
I promise.

Today

So for dinner lately we have been cooking everything in the microwave or frypan. Veggies done in the microwave and steak is what we had for dinner. Wasn't that bad. But still, everything cooked in the microwave for the next two months since our family is lazy. Shall be interesting. Or boring due to probably having the same things most nights.

Anyhow, school today was quite lame. Though my first day actually being able to go to canoeing Yay... Wasn't to bad, though the sporty dicky so called cool/popular people were just trying to capsize everyone. Was effing annoying since it was my first day in a canoe. Turns out I wasn't to bad at it.

Christmas is slowly making its way. What does everyone want for Christmas?

I don't get Skyrim till Christmas nor do I get my guitar. D:

Blog written in English.

Oh hey there.

I'm currently sitting in English writing this. But of course when I put it on my blog it will have been written again so I don't know if I should start it like this at all. Oh well.

Anyhow, I'm writing this or wrote this in English because the teacher has decided to make us do a writing task and I thought, what a wonderful time to do a writing for my blog.

Now, down to business. I was talking about zombies today just before we got into class. Its got me curious. What would you all do if a zompocolypes occurred? Would you run and hide? Maybe fight them off, be a hero and challenge the zombies? Would you band together or go alone? What type of weaponry would you carry? Where would you go? Be realistic about this.

I personally would join a group, probably not fight them unless we needed to get some supplies or find a safe area. I would carry a blunt weapon, hockey stick or baseball bat or something. Since both are found around Bundaberg and I doubt this town has many guns with a fair bit of ammunition. Its always the best idea to go to a pub and wait it out till its all over. But, since the Winchester isn't in Bundaberg. Lets just chill at the Bundy Tavern or something.

Fool proof.