2010 has been a pretty decent year, its been kinda fun, rocking the school as a senior making me feel kick ass and makes me feel bigger and better then the lower grades, School? Pretty good but could be better I just got a new teacher for English but I think I liked my last teacher better because he was gullible and wasn't as sharp as this new teacher about me and my Ipod and phone, this new teacher is actually helpful and teaches us stuff and its rather good as I'm learning AND NOT JUST SITTING THERE WITH THE SAME KNOWLEDGE. But I have a girlfriend who I wouldn't trade up for anything sure it started in 2009 but its 2010 so its still apart of this year, in fact its basically my life, I would do anything for her and wouldn't trade her for anything. She is the most amazing person i have ever met and I'm glad she is in my life, if she wasn't I would probably still be that stupid gay jerk who just slutted around cuz he could and just to make himself look good. She has changed me for the good and to that I take my hat off and do a little bow.
I now have decent clothes and a decent style which I can claim as my own and I don't look like a mega scrub, or as much as one.
2010 has probably been the year I have started to grow up and take my place in the world, I have realized so much this year, what is important and true and what is fake and not worth it. This year i have actually decided to stop joking around and start trying to participate in life and take responsibility for my own faults and what not, I have learned to be truthful as there is no need to hide anything because if you do it will only come back and hit you harder in the future
I have realized what I want and need isn't as important as others who need them more then my greedy selfish wants.
I have become a decent person this year and not a freak or a mega nerd, I have slightly reverted back to how I was in year 6 and 7 and even before that, my music taste has become bearable again, I now have decentish taste in music in my opinion and a decent fashion so I'm no longer a scrub... I'm still a nerd by the way I talk and act but I no longer sit there and play games 24/7 I don't tend to play them that much as I have found better things to do then just sit there nerding out.
I have got a job and its going pretty well, thanks to phoenix. With her help I was able to be bothered to make a resume and put it in at places and I actually got a job. I now work at reading cinemas and I earn a fairly decent amount of cash though I tend to spend most of it when I go shopping... I brought a dream catcher the other week and its rather kick ass, it was phoenix's idea to be honest. I was having nightmares every night for around 2 or 3 weeks but they have slightly gone as what ever was on my mind has passed and I now seem to be thinking slightly better before I sleep as my dreams have gone back to being weird and strange and fun and not torturous.
I really just want to thank phoenix for everything and but I've never been able to come up with a way to say thank you and a way to show her I love her so I tend to just place comments on my blogs saying stuff about her, I don't know why but shes always on my mind and my writing always seems to be relating to her every now and then when I do up blogs or story's or anything really. I really don't stop thinking of her and its awesome :D. I consider myself super lucky to be with a girl like her, shes mature, smart, cute, backchaty, a little mean at times but she always makes me smile even when she is being mean or is angry at me. She is really beautiful and I'm surprised that I'm with her... to be honest I think she could probably find a lot better looking of a guy and really anything she wants. But i don't think I could bare the thought of her being with another guy, it would tear me up into a thousand pieces. And I'm sick of everyone saying shit about her, sure you have your opinions but cant you just shut up and keep them to yourselves I'm sick of all the shit you all say about her.
My school life is going rather well, its been pretty good but out of classes at lunch is when it tends to become boring, as normally the jokes they say are repetitive and are very nerdy and most I don't get.
My grades aren't what they used to be but they are coming up again and becoming A's and B's instead of the C's I was getting in 2008 and 2009.... My last English exam I got a A- so I am happy
Still cant spell but I'm working on it. I have gotten a lot better over the years of high school and now its actually half readable but my writing is still super messy.
Sometimes I wish I could just live in a dream world of my own, I wish I could just disappear and be a god in my own world. Create a world of my own, a world I would fit in properly, a world were I wouldn't have any reason to feel down or sad or anything just a place where i could be happy.
I'm sick of people pushing me round and telling me to do what ever, I've learnt to take a stand! yeahhh! No more cat like Joshhyyy, he has grown and has started standing up for himself, today in fact he did it and got up Jessie and she was like omg Josh is growing up to be a man, gave me such a confidence boost :D I felt so good when I did it and now I know how easy it is to let out my annoyance and anger on people to tell them how I feel. Gotta love the feeling of getting up someone and letting out anger.
I have found new colours that I like and new music and new everything!!! Old josh who wore black or just dark colours in general and was a jerk was replaced this year and a few months of the end of 2009 and to all those who have help with that I take off yet another hat which somehow I had on when I had no hats on at all to start with.
I guess kid josh is back and has kinda grown up and what I was in 2008 and most of 2009 has gone! I feel good knowing that I have destroyed who I was and I hope I will never return. I have actually gotten over my fear of the pool and getting wet and what not now. My hair is a big part of my life, I love to play with it, try to make it look good, which fails. I hate short hair, but I kinda like how it is now at this length its better then when it was long but I liked it at a certain point when it was slightly longer. I wish it would just grow to that and never grown again and never die when I straighten it and such of coarse, that would be horrible.
Really 2010 is just the start of my life, the start of me growing up. As I grow up and realize more about this world and life I want phoenix to be with me the whole way. Going to sound like a broken record but I thank her for everything she has done in my life. I love her with all my heart she is everything to me, I wouldn't have even started realizing anything if it wasn't for her. I owe her everything, I would do anything for her.
I think this is enough of a overview of 2010 so far. Didn't like it? to bad.
Sorry about the blog being all over the place, cant be bothered editing any of it.
Yours Faithfully,
Xendal.
too* bad.
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